Yeah that’s right. Your boy Jonny D has never seen an entire episode of Hey Arnold. Why is that? Because my parents refused to pay for cable. No cable meant I had to play outside and miss out on countless hours of programming that my friends got to watch. I’ve never been asked the question “Are you afraid of the Dark?” or know who this stereotypical black kid is.
I was raised on public television and network stations. I hung out with Bill Nye, rode the magic school bus, and was forced to watch infomercials on rainy Sunday afternoons. Do you have any idea how much figure skating is on in the winter? I do, and it’s entirely too much.
So whenever one of my friends makes a reference to some 90′s Nickelodeon show or some Disney after school special I have to sheepishly say “Who’s this Doug and what makes him so funny?” or “Where’s the hidden temple and what’s the legend about?”. Embarrassing.
So parents of today, hear my plea. Get cable, let your kids watch whatever is the hot show is or they are doomed to a lifetime of ridicule and awkward conversations. Do you really want your kid to be the kind of man doesn’t watch Sports Center until he’s a freshman in college? Step your T.V game up parents before it’s too late.
- Jonny D